Zero Conflicts Does Not Mean No Emotions At Work - How To Lead A Transformation With Vulnerability
It's OK to be vulnerable
Most conflicts during a company transformation are not about tasks or interests but about the underlying fundamental needs of each person during an interaction. Emotions are our way of signaling these needs.
What happens when leadership vulnerability is not there?
Here are some leadership behaviors that do not show vulnerability and the consequences on their team members:
Defensiveness: Protecting oneself from perceived threats by avoiding admitting fault or weakness. Reacting negatively to feedback or criticism, making sure the status is not going down.
Consequence on the team members: Poor communication and collaboration, creating an environment where employees feel undervalued and unheard.
Stoicism: Showing little or no emotion, especially in difficult situations.
Consequence on the team members: Employees feel emotionally disconnected and unsupported, significantly reducing trust and engagement. As healthy fear, anger, sadness, or other emotions are not shown by leaders, employees do not have a speak-up model and do not express their concerns, objectives, and opinions anymore.
Blame-shifting: Holding others responsible for any setbacks or failures, instead of taking accountability.
Consequence on the team members: Erosion of trust and morale, as employees fear being unfairly held responsible for setbacks, leading to a toxic work environment.
What is leadership vulnerability and what is it good for?
It is about acknowledging and expressing leadership vulnerability and asking straight for what we want and need. Emotions are making us aware of the unmet needs.
By giving clear information, and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we enhance the likelihood of stimulating a listening attitude in the other. Fundamentally, we increase the probability of being heard. So being vulnerable brings us and everyone else advantages - when emotions are expressed healthily.
What are the 3 behaviors that can help show vulnerability as a leader?
Openness to Feedback vs. Defensiveness
Positive Behavior: Welcoming feedback and constructive criticism.
Advantages: Improved communication and collaboration, leading to a more inclusive and supportive work environment.
Emotional Intelligence and Expressiveness vs. Stoicism
Positive Behaviour: demonstrating empathy and actively engaging with own and employees' emotions
Advantages: Improved trust, stronger team cohesion, higher employee engagement, and better conflict resolution
Accountability vs. Blame-shifting
Positive Behavior: Taking responsibility for outcomes.
Advantages: Building trust and morale, as employees feel their leaders are fair and responsible.
Bottom line:
Going through a company transformation can bring conflicts out. Conflicts come mostly from unmet needs. When we have unmet needs, we know this through our signaling emotions. Healthily showing emotions is being vulnerable and asking straight away what we want and what we need. Without this, our conversation partners cannot guess what they can do to support us.
Resources:
Radio of Creativity: Finding the Frequency for Flow, Not Fear
Exploring Compassionate Communication Featuring Playmobil Pro Figures
Let’s meet - Come to the FREE live training - 3 Secrets To Immediate Resolve Conflicts In Your Team
Zero conflicts? Yes, it is possible! Come and find out how!
Bring your friends as well, let's make this big!
Andra
I know managers who are desperate to be seen by their staff. They send e-mails on sunday morning and hope their staff will appreciate their effort and engagement. It is a chicken and egg dilemma. I still haven´t found a good question to ask when there is so much frustration and unmet need. Any suggestions??