One book that had a great impact on how I interact with people is "Just Listen" by Mark Goulston. He has trained hostage negotiators and his book is one of the best on listening for me. To overcome an amygdala highjack he promotes the "Oh F#@& to OK' speed drill. The process takes you from panic mode to solution mode so that you say the right things and avoid saying the wrong ones.
It is very much in line what you describe.
He also promotes acknowledging your feelings at the beginning. Find the right words that describe them instead of pretending you are all cool and calm and fine. From there the deep and slow breathing will take you through what he calls the Release Rhase, the Recenter Phase, the Refocus Phase and the Reengage Phase.
I have practiced this drill for years. It has helped me many times to stay in control.
One book that had a great impact on how I interact with people is "Just Listen" by Mark Goulston. He has trained hostage negotiators and his book is one of the best on listening for me. To overcome an amygdala highjack he promotes the "Oh F#@& to OK' speed drill. The process takes you from panic mode to solution mode so that you say the right things and avoid saying the wrong ones.
It is very much in line what you describe.
He also promotes acknowledging your feelings at the beginning. Find the right words that describe them instead of pretending you are all cool and calm and fine. From there the deep and slow breathing will take you through what he calls the Release Rhase, the Recenter Phase, the Refocus Phase and the Reengage Phase.
I have practiced this drill for years. It has helped me many times to stay in control.
Valuable post! Thanks.
Thank you for sharing @Maria , very useful!