In an emotional intelligence training one of the exercises there was: “Look at a pen on your table. Can you TRY to take it?”. And the answer was: “What do you mean to TRY? I just pick it up”. The same happens with the things we say we “try” to do to them.
When you are in a workshop or training and you arrive at a phase where you invite participants to commit to actions afterward what happens?
Some people will invariably use words like “I will try”, “I should do this..”, “It is needed to do this…” and so on, right?
What does this really show about their intentions? Are they convinced they will do that task?
No, according to NLP they are not. They are saying something to motivate themselves to do so. You know then that their words will not bring results.
You might want to support in asking questions like:
“When did you last time achieve something which words did you use to commit?
How about last time when you failed to achieve something?
Is there any difference?
How do I (someone else) know that you will follow through?”
We do have a lot of convictions that create our own reality and sometimes these convictions are ours or even borrowed from other persons.
The question is what do we do with them?
First things first, just observe yourself and which words you use, or observe others and see what happens after using specific words with their actions.
The words to observe and identify if it is an internal or external motivator:
When you use these words in an interaction with someone else or a participant in your session expresses them in a dialogue, the other person will have resistance to whatever you propose.
Bottom lines:
This is an invitation to observe yourself and others on which words are used. Are they helping you or the others to achieve the goals and commit to the wanted outcomes?
It is not enough to end a session with action points. Yes, they are tangible, but are they real?
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