When I Decided to Start A Session A Few Minutes Later on Purpose
Why connecting with the room mattered more than starting on time
Sometimes the most important part of a session happens before it officially starts.
The Situation
I was about to facilitate a session. Arms crossed—people who’d been sent there, not chosen to be there.
Before we even started, I could feel it in the room — that particular quiet that isn’t calm, it’s uncomfortable being there.
I had a start time. I had an agenda.
I decided to be late on purpose. To start a few minutes later.
The Change in schedule
Instead of opening on schedule, I went to each person, one at a time. Not as a facilitator running through a checklist — just human to human.
Thank you for being here.
I told them how much their presence actually mattered — that they were the ones who’d decide what came next, that the next steps would be built together, not handed to them.
Nothing official. No agenda yet. Just a few minutes, person by person.
The Shift
Something changed before I’d even said “let’s begin.”
The room’s energy was different. Not because of anything I’d presented — because something real had passed between us before the content ever started.
People like people. Not facilitators. Not agendas. People.
And when someone feels genuinely met before a session begins, something in how they show up for the next two hours quietly changes.
Brain Nugget
Our brains decide who’s safe long before we’re consciously aware of deciding it. That read happens in the first few seconds of contact — tone, eye contact, whether we feel seen as a person or processed as an attendee.
Most of facilitation focuses on what happens once the session starts. But the room’s nervous system has often already decided how it’s going to participate before the first slide ever appears.
Takeaway
Rapport isn't a technique you use once the session begins. Sometimes it's the thing you build first, deliberately, before anything official happens at all.
Your Turn
What would change in your next session if connection came before content — even by five quiet minutes?
An invitation
If this is the kind of moment you want to get faster at recognising — not after the session, but while it's happening — this is exactly what we're working with live on July 16th. A few spots are still open.
This is a live, in-the-moment experience — and it stays that way. No recording, no replay. Just you, fully present, working with what's real for you right now.
I’d love to see you there.
Andra