What To Ask / Say To Understand The Other Person View
Even if you do not agree
You have a conversation and the person you interact with has a different option than you.
What do you do?
Do you prepare to answer them and show them your view as this is the correct one?
You are thinking: “How can someone think like this?”
You want to interrupt and explain how you see things, even draw them what you think so they agree with your view immediately.
I know, it is not easy to keep your thoughts together and focus on what the other person is sharing. Our brain is like a stage with actors and a director so you control it :)
How about asking questions to understand what the other person says so that you can relate to their perspective and have better chances to come to a common understanding?
What to ask to focus on getting the mental representation of the other person?
There are many questions of the same area, variations.
Pick what fits to you and your situation:
Why is this working?
Because you are switching from the “I think this is wrong” to “let me understand first what you say” mindset.
Where you sit determines what you see. So you then ask questions to help you understand what the other person sees. It’s one of the reappraisal types.
The fact that you use the phrase “help me…” means you put yourself in a status position that is inferior to the other person, starting from the premise that you need their help. They will then be more open to sharing their thoughts as you have a learning attitude towards them.
Your curiosity shifts the conversation into a discovery phase instead of a tensioned, conflictual one.
Bottom lines:
Seeking to understand what is the perspective of the other person is an invitation to curiosity. Where you sit determines what you see.